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Thursday 27 October 2011

Drama? Drama!

One of our growing band of readers passed the following to me. She received it unsolicited, and says she never met, knew (or slept with) the person named in the notecard, but I thought you might like to see the contents anyway.

This may come as a shock to some of you that I am sending this too or you may not even care but (name removed) is a 52 yr old man and also my husband whom I loved and trusted. After discovering he has this whole other life here I need some closure and would like to know why he did this and what kind of relationship he had with all these people.... was it just a game or did he really have a relationship with you. Did he have any other avatars? Anything you can tell me will help me figure out why he did this. I am also sorry if any of you have been hurt by his lies.

I'm guessing, but it rather looks like a male in his 50s has been posing as a female(?), and a milf(?). Now his RL wife has found out about SL and gone nuclear. Her whole world has been turned upside down by SL and some secretive world her husband inhabited, and reading between the lines she could, in theory, be suffering right now with the foundations of her marriage crumbling. Or is that the case?

Further sleuthing on the name of the person who has led this secretive Second Life reveals the following profile.

Yes I am a lying piece of shit!! I am a 52 yr old man. Be careful who you trust on SL. All of you who knew me are sick fucks! What comes around goes around.

Is that the wife re-writing the profile? Or is it something else? The first two sentences are consistent with 'the story so far', but then things go slightly awry. 'All of you who knew me are sick fucks?' Are they, though? If I've got this right, then the RL guy posing as a 'milf' has probably been cybering guys. Now, those guys may think they've been having sex with a woman, but it's really a man behind the keyboard. Does this change anything? We project our own mental images onto an avatar (and the words they write) and take whatever we need from the text exchange. Does this make the exchange more 'screwed up'? I'd argue it doesn't, as literature is littered with men writing as women, women writing as men, and projecting a false masculine/feminine 'sexuality' onto the page (where sexuality is in the text). If we read a racy novel, and the female heroine is sexually succumbing to some rugged hunk, the sexuality on the page remains real, erotic and maybe even arousing. Does it matter if it's male author writing from a female perspective, or vice versa? No. The words remain erotic and maybe even arousing.

SL is the same. If this guy has been posing as a 'milf' and bedding RL guys in the context of SL, it doesn't make those guys 'sick fucks'. Or the 'milf' author. It's merely an exercise in roleplay, fantasy, imagination, projection and literary skills. The 'milf' doesn't have to have issues pending, nor the (RL male) recipients of his 'loving'. It's a game and it's fantasy and imagination. Now unless there has been some RL confession about RL gender confusion, and latent homosexuality on the writer's part, it's not overly important, in my eyes. Worse, I think, would be the RL male posing as a young stud and bedding SL women by the score, because that might signify something in the RL marriage requiring attention. Even then, exercising a virtual need is probably better than visiting RL hookers.

Of course, that's only my opinion, and I'm aware that others (such as RL wife) might regard things differently. But I'm still confused by the profile, which says that 'what comes around goes around'. Will it? The RL guys screwed the 'milf' in good faith. What makes them 'sick'? (unless she's referring to them, too, being caught out masturbating in front of a SL screen by their RL wives. It's not very clear what's intended here.

But if we can learn anything from this is that it's real people with real feelings behind the keyboard, and it's always best to be nice to one another and as truthful as one can be. Yes, it's a fantasy where some truth is suspended, and it's the suspension of the real that makes SL such fun. How horrible would it be to live a SL where you work all day and then come home to watch TV with a Sl partner and maybe have sex once a week? Best to do nothing other than sail your yacht and bed shapely lovelies 2-3 times a night, isn't it?


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