Libertines and virgins

Promiscuity in men may cheapen love but sharpen thought. Promiscuity in women is illness, a leakage of identity. The promiscuous woman is self-contaminated and incapable of clear ideas. She has ruptured the ritual integrity of her body.

Camille Paglia


As someone who routinely reads profiles, of almost everyone I meet, I've been struck by the number of SL women for whom sex is most definitely off their agenda and whose profiles reflect this. I've been amongst their number, too, until I conceived this blog, but I've been actively seeking out women (and the occasional male) for whom SL sex is 'stupid', 'dumb', 'pointless' and 'ridiculous' (their words, not mine).

One woman I spoke to insisted on remaining anonymous, but had the following to say about cyber. (IM exchanges reworked into a flowing narrative).

'I'm married in RL, and happily so, so I don't quite comprehend the fascination for and emphasis on cybersex. I'm guessing that there needs to be something missing in a person's RL sex life, or relationship, for them to regard the whole process as necessary. I believe that cybersex is a refuge for the lonely or unhappy. For some, it's maybe the sex life they dreamed of in their youth, in RL, but it never happened for whatever reason. And for some guys I think it's almost like playing FIFA2010 (soccer computer game), and they're trying to score as much as possible. I don't need that. My RL provides me with the love and physicality I need. I don't think of it as adultery, although some players do, but I'm still not enthusiastic about the idea. What do I do? Type one-handed and fiddle with myself under the computer desk? The whole thing is just silly.'

Agree? Disagree? Let me know.

The World Cup

I've noticed a big downturn in SL traffic recently, and I blame the World Cup. There seems to be a much smaller number of people around right now. Is it just me or the times (European evenings) when I log in?

Where am I?

Well now...a good question.

I previously blogged about the erotic literature sim, where you can download examples of erotic writing by numerous SL users. They run a competition for short-story writing, with a Linden cash prize. I've decided to enter, providing I can finish it in time (five days to go until the closing date), so this week has been spent writing a story to enter (which I would very much regard as an integral part of the erotic SL experience). It's not the winning, it's the taking part, and I would expect that you will eventually be able to read my contribution here, either this month or following next month's competition.

Writing it has taken me out of world, of course, so I've not been around, playing, experiencing or contributing to SL (or this blog), but it is proving an interesting and testing experience. I hope to polish my story this evening, and get back inworld on Sunday (20th June).

I haven't forgotten you!

I'm intrigued/amazed at how much time and research is now involved in covering the broad-ish topic of sex and sexuality in SL, and I'm currently spending more time doing 'interviews' and research than I am spending time inworld. Hopefully, the work will prove worthwhile, as the behind-the-scenes research beomes public domain. Hang in there! We'll be back after this short commercial break, lol!

The continuing adventures of masturbation

For men, there's a usually a clear and visible end product where masturbation is concerned, that is, ejaculation or orgasm. And, of course, there are all manner of sexual activities where semen, spunk, cum....call it what you will, is involved in much sexual play. Over at Bukkake Bliss Island it's possible to buy a product called 'flexicum' (see photo above) wherein the user can apply varying volumes of ejaculated semen to their body. Disappointingly, the demo involves a yellow mannequin with the HUD, to which the cum is applied, rather than being able to see how it might look on your own body, and there are apparently different settings wherein the user can create puddles of the stuff at their feet! It sounds like a lot of fun, but priced at L$500 it's unfortunately well out of my price range at the moment.

Bukkake, incidentally, is a practice popular in Japan, in which a number of men will stand around a girl and masturbate to ejaculation over her. This sounds like it could be a lot of fun, but I'm struggling a bit to find a good bukkake pose and the requisite number of gentlemen willing to be photographed during the act. But in the pursuit of thoroughness, it's something I would like to pursue for a little while yet, lol.

This weekend's theme

Two photographs taken at the 'Love Thyself' beach. I'm not sure about the business suit, lol. Nude or at least bikini clad might have been more appropriate (un)dress, but the towels certainly have a fun message!

Posts for the remainder of the weekend will focus on last week's research into SL masturbation. The places, the animations, the poses...

Re-stating 'the rules'

A couple of things I have to say about this blog are that researching, writing and bringing people into one's confidence takes a long time. People will talk, but with provisos, often that their actions and reactions in SL are anonymous. That's fine, I will usually try to accommodate a fellow avatar with the assurances they seek, and stick rigidly to those assurances. If I lose the trust of interviewees, SL users and the audience, the blog is finished completely. New readers are coming on board all the time, and I feel it is vital to keep re-stating this fact.

If you want to be interviewed, or are willing to talk about sex and sexuality within SL (and your RL actions and reactions to it)...about ANY element of your SL sex lives...feel free to IM me and we'll talk. The beauty of what I'm doing is that I'm not reliant on your inworld presence. IMs can trade back and forth to assemble a piece, even if our SL times don't coincide. And if you've got a dead-letter email address you use for SL, we can communicate that way if you like. I'm at emmanuelle.warden@yahoo.com so don't be afraid to write and say hello that way, too.

I will take photographs only with your permission, either on or off poseballs. My 'posse' of helpers are completely unafraid to be photographed, lol, so I can usually call up one of them to take on the modelling element of this blog's visuals.

I want and need total honesty. Not only from you, but even more from me. I need readers to trust what I do here. That's not to say we may disagree with certain elements of SL sexuality, so I would anticipate that my views on a particular poseball/outfit/whatever will be challenged, but I need to be totally candid about the entire aspect of SL sexuality, including elements that I would find slightly (or more) distasteful from a personal perspective.

I'm going to see if I can assemble a full 'terms of service' for participants in this blog, and post it here, so that you can see 'the rules' laid out starkly for you.

I already have a notecard, a shortened version, which I hand out to people I meet inworld, so don't be afraid to ask for a copy.

This is a steep learning curve for me. Not only do I have to research and write (the easy part), I have to look at aspects of this blog, layouts and design and so on, and learn those too.

Which brings me to this weekend's 'theme', the topic I've been researching all week now, and will be continuing to research for a couple of weeks to come....the topic of masturbation. This follows on in subsequent blog posts over the weekend (between episodes of being bored/excited by the soccer World Cup in RL, lol). Tonight's match is England vs USA (which is a good excuse to head to the pub with pals), but I won't be organising my life around the television for the next month, any more than I organise it around SL. SL's great fun, and the existence of this blog has given my SL a new-found impetus of exploration and themed adventure, but I'm not searching for poseballs on a 24/7 basis, lol.

One final thing. This is an adult blog. You have had to click a button to enter it in which you state, categorically, that you are 18+ (or whatever the age of maturity is in your geographic location) and you need to be aware that it IS an adult blog and not intended for reading by minors.

As I come to grips with the art of blogging, I expect, in the next week or two, for blogger's generic 'warning' page to lead you to a new front page of my own in which you will re-state and confirm you are of an age of maturity. When this appears, I hope all readers will actually read it and absorb the 'rules'.

By entering this blog, as it stands, you are confirming you are of adult age, and fully comprehend the themes discussed herein as being suitable only for adults.

Avatars have no feelings.


I urge you all to click on the link to the Alphaville Herald (one of SL's newspapers), and read an excellent article on the nature of sex/cyber/'love'/emotion/feelings in SL.

Do you know, reading through it, I reflected that my SL life (so far) has been dictated by similar feelings as those of the writer. It's a potential emotional wringer, and why would we choose to do it without a clear understanding of the other person's emotions (or, indeed real sex)?

I've pretty much laid down a marker for a forthcoming SL, in that I plan to do and write about everything, but I think that I may just have to draw a line at emotional involvement. But then....do I miss an integral part of the SL cyber experience? Does there need to be an emotional connection? Let's see...as my new SL develops.

Cut or uncut?

No...not another post about pubic trims, lol, but circumcision. Yes, yes, I know I've told you that I'm a naturally nosey mare, but in my early days in SL I spent a time being utterly fascinated as to why guys chose the look they did when purchasing cocks, which often come in 'cut' and 'uncut' variations.

I would ask guys why they adopted a certain look, and once again it was a matter of SL reflecting RL. Where society leaned more towards circumcision, SL users in those countries (the US, Muslim and Jewish worlds) adopted a cock to reflect that. In Europe, where circumcision is a less familiar social/religious matter, guys adopted an uncut look.

SL is intended to be an alternative to RL, but in some aspects, people won't opt for an alternative. In terms of intimate equipment, it appears that SL's males merely adopt the norm within the society in which they live.

Of course, it's universal that guys make themselves a bit bigger in SL than they are in RL, lol. Or so I'm guessing. I don't imagine that the males of RL are uniformly 9 inches...

I'd invite guys to talk about their cocks, but it's a topic fraught with danger, haha. But if you agree or disagree with what I've said above, feel free to comment.

More pubic hair

I keep returning to pubic hair as one element of the scope of this blog, and make no apologies for it being a recurring theme. Why? I like pubic hair....so much so that I even have some (a lot) in RL!

I've never gone in much for trimming, waxing, shaving, and where my SL is merely a reflection of RL, I would be inclined to wear pubic hair. Obviously, in the context of this blog, you can see that I've already modelled the 'shaved' look. It's not me, and I blame the current state of RL and SL pubic fashion on the porn and swimsuit industries, where everything must be seen in detail (in the case of the former) and where ever decreasing panties, thongs and tangas have forced, to some degree, women to be ever more brutal with the razor or waxing.

I don't, personally, like that 'little girl' look. In a sense, there something rather disconcerting about it all, and I'm equally disenchanted with males following suit. Anyway, I'm a lazy mare who can't be arsed with that level of 'personal grooming' almost every day. It's itchy, it's scratchy and it looks just awful (in my opinion).

Better to acknowledge the fact that, come a certain point in our lives, we (both men and women) become hairier, and accept that.

OK...personal views aside, I'm very willing to model detailed genitalia, but caught naked, and without my blogging hat on, I'm going to be wearing some sort of girl fur.

And one of the best places, right now, for your pubic requirements is Pubic Inc. While I pretty much have run my SL as an exercise in freebie-dom, (skin, hair and all), it's unfortunate or disappointing that there isn't much free bush around for avatars. The freebies modelled below are fine, up to a point, but some of us...er...like to keep it natural! lol!

Pubic Inc is doing the business, but being pretty much penniless in SL, it's going to take a long time for me to gather the cash together to afford their excellent workmanship, but let's just say that their stuff is one of the items at the very top of my shopping list right now (see an example in the pic, above).

The version shown is a male one, but it wears perfectly well on a woman, and focussed in on hides the genitalia, and also has been designed to feature some of those unruly, stray pubes that some of us are familiar with!

It's not mine, but the model who posed wishes to remain anonymous. But there can be no mistake...this, and all of the other versions featured in the store are excellent value for money, and I cannot praise the store highly enough for their designs. Camryn McAndrews deserves all the praise available for these stunning creations.

Pubic hair is, largely, now a generational thing. I find that most women of a certain age conform to peer pressure, celebrity magazine shoots that make patently obvious the fact that our singers and film-stars are now trimmed within an inch of their lives. Beyond a certain age, women are inclined to be natural. While I fit into the first category, age-wise, I fit into the second category, hair-wise. I'm certain it works in reverse, too, but that's an observation on RL, and how it also reflects in SL.

If you have any comments to make on pubic hair, in RL as reflecting SL, or on my belief that there's something disquieting about the 'little girl' look, feel free to comment. I'd love to hear from you, regardless of whether you agree or disagree.

An observation I shall also make about pubic hair in SL is that....guys love it! While running around naturist sims, prior to this blog being established, I was astonished by the number of guys who wanted to comment on it, admire it and enquire as to why I was using it. Being naturally inquisitive, I asked for their reasoning in being fascinated about it. A dislike of the 'little girl' look was a recurring theme, as was the confession to being men of a certain age, whose ideal of a woman presumably involved pubic hair.

I would apologise for the lack of posts this past week, but...

...real life intervenes sometimes. Equally, so does the need to research this blog and conduct interviews (sometimes over several says). What you get to read isn't just a case of me throwing some words up there. I have to work (lol!) to a certain extent to get these posts up there. So I'm sliding into a methodology of using SL time during the week to do the research, with posts then emerging at weekends. There will, of course, be variations to this, but that will be the basis of how I approach the blog.

Shambles Abbey

Earlier this week I ambled through 'Shambles Abbey', which is ostensibly a voyeur and exhibitionist venue. While there was no one to voyeur, and I wasn't in an exhibitionist mood, I spent time wandering around the different buildings, being particularly taken with the orchard. Unfortunately I seem to have visited during apple blossom time, so there was no opportunity for me to relive my childhood as a snotty-nosed, scabby-kneed seven year old who scaled the wall of a nearby orchard to go 'scrumping', as we say in the UK. If you don't know what scrumping is, click on the link to the wiki definition. On the up side, there was no large dog to chase us all the way back to the wall, either.

I was fortunate enough to get into conversation with the venue's owner, Shambolic Walkenberg, who revealed himself to be one of the most intelligent, thoughtful guys it has been my pleasure to run into in SL, and who had given the Abbey a gentler, almost romantic (while still containing sexy poses) feel.

Sadly, Jimmy or any other willing volunteer wasn't available to road-test the poses, but the orchard has one very nice 'legs wrapped around one another while sitting on a bench' pose. Like I said...romantic, but I'm guessing that perhaps the concept in the orchard is perhaps to be naked, being watched. It's not essential, though, and if the sim's quiet, and you just need a place to take your girlfriend or boyfriend for some undisturbed conversation, this has to be on your landmarks lists.

Apples and nudity? Hmmm. My mind was immediately drawn to Eden, Adam and Eve, and Genesis 2:25...'The man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed'.

But, please, Shambolic, don't introduce a snake!

Back over at the abbey itself, there's dancing, beds and the thrilling discovery of a game of spin the bottle! I've never experienced that in SL before, and I began to imagine how, given a crowd, it might replicate, to some extent, the concept of Erica Jong's 'zipless f***', a sexual encounter between two strangers, as described in her book 'Fear of Flying'. No power games involved, and described as 'the perfect one night stand'.

Unfortunately (and this isn't the fault of the Abbey) name tags exist. While these can be removed from your avatar, your name still exists in chat and IM, so replicating the 'sex between strangers' element of Jong's perfect one night stand just isn't going to work. That's a pity, because the concept of meeting another avatar, staying anonymous, having sex with them and then logging out is just crackling with electric, sexual, erotic tension.

I was also very, very taken with the concept of sex beds menu driven for group sex. Again, while it was quiet and there was no one to test drive them with, I found the idea of going into local chat and emoting (or starting a group call between the participants) has enormous potential for those inclined that way. I'm not ruling the possibility out, lol, but I need a couple of decent emoters, I reckon, before I'd really want to partake.

Shambolic apologised to me for the unkempt state of the grounds, lol, but in all honesty it filled me with a desire to tear off my clothes and run naked through the long grass, not caring who saw me. Oops! I'm getting sucked into the ambience of the place already!

I will be going back to the Abbey....and soon! Hopefully I can get a few photographs will a couple of willing participants next time! Is it erotic? I can imagine that with a partner in tow, clothes packed away, and an exploration of its many and varied (yet discreetly placed) poseballs, this could be the place to spend a quiet evening, in gothic architecture, before a roaring fire, whispering into and nibbling their ear.