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Wednesday 22 June 2011

This is important

Hmmmm. Emma wrote that I'd been in hospital for 'a little operation' from which I am recovering. Yes. And no. You deserve the truth and the facts, and while I understand that Emma was trying to protect me, I feel I'd like to tell my recent story.

A few months back I was undergoing 'a divorce' of sorts from my SL partner, Lizzie Rage. (Yes, we're lesbians, for those who don't know). My mind was in 'another place' of sorts, and the reason for Lizzie and my 'divorce' (although we never partnered in SL) was exacerbated by a brief affair with another player. Emma alluded to it in her Managing Drama blog post at the turn of the year.

Yes, I was off the rails a little bit, in RL and SL, because I'd just been diagnosed with breast cancer. I internalised all of it, and retreated to a dark corner in RL and a slightly less dark corner in SL. I couldn't tell anyone for a while. Not my RL partner, and not Lizzie. And then I disappeared from SL in order to face 'death'.

But I didn't die. I had a mastectomy in RL, and a period in which I mourned rather than rejoiced. I mourned the loss of a breast, and maybe 50% of my sexuality, or definition as a woman, rather than rejoice a potentially life-saving operation.

Recently, it has been declared that I'm free of it. The operation was a success. I have no cancerous cells in my body. Yes, I shall be very carefully monitored by Britain's National health Service for the rest of my life (and those who would sneer at it for its obvious inefficiencies should remember how wonderful it can be, on demand, at point of entry, without any need for insurances or any of that stuff). I have emerged from a dark place, and now embrace life, fully and keenly, once more.

Last week, I took part in The Moonlight Walk to raise money for breast cancer research. I raised £173 (about US$200?) through sponsorship from friends and work colleagues and it was one of the proudest moments of my life to finish, and then collect their cash. Not an enormous sum, I know (I work in a small office, so the opportunity to hassle hundreds of people for a great cause was not an option).

I know we have lost friends in SL to this horrible disease, and I emerge from my dark tunnel feeling reborn. I have a mission, both in RL and in SL, to tell my tale, to let others know it is not the end, it is survivable, but that we MUST do all we can to eradicate it or at least ensure systems are in place for early detection, so that we can ensure survival rates are 100% or close to it.

October, in both the US and the UK, is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. That's not our finishing line, but our starting line. We NEED to use our SL's to aid, however we can, Breast Cancer research and treatment. OK, L$1 is about 1/10th of a cent, but I want you to look at it like this. If we raise L$100, and translate that into the real world US$1 that it represents, that single dollar might mean damned little, or it may be the dividing line between funding for a single nurse, or not, in real life. It may be the dividing line between one radio advert, or billboard, that women see and respond to, or not. That single dollar may be the difference between saving someone's life. Or not.

I now declare my intention to hassle, cajole, harrass and demand that those of us who have survived breast cancer can be symbols to those who will face the diagnosis in the future. I now declare my intention to cajole some of SL's skin designers to provide a 'post mastectomy' skin which we -survivors of it- can wear to promote Breast Cancer Awareness throughout October.

I know...I know....SL and its designers WILL provide me with solutions. They WILL provide skins. They WILL contribute. I know...because it's SL, and people can and do give their time and efforts to promote positively. I know that we'll have the pink ribbons on, and I'm declaring my intention to positively harrass people before, during and after October to wear their ribbon, wear their skin.

We do NOT become 'sexless' following the loss of a breast. We are still women (hetero or lesbian) who are sexual beings. We are not 'scarred'. We are not any less sexy or erotic. And that, dear readers, was the greatest fear of my RL experience....that I was somehow less sexual, less sexy, less attractive. Frightened that, in my mid-30s, my sexual life, my desirability, was at an end. It isn't. My RL partner still loves me. And I have made peace with Lizzie. :)

OK, my SL is now redefined. It is now much, much less about cyber with Lizzie and hanging out with gay friends as it is now about raising awareness and cash.

I'm alive, and I'm coming after your purse/wallet. With Emma's permission (granted...Ems) I hope to use this blog to promote Breast Cancer Awareness in SL (and beyond into RL).

Emma comments.....no other comment. Yes, I was aware of Marlene's situation, but didn't feel it appropriate for me to comment until she did. I am fully behind this. We will be promoting breast cancer awareness, not until October, but for the lifetime of this blog, and Marlene has a free hand in keeping you aware of developments)



1 comment:

  1. Hi. It's Lizzie Rage here, Marlene's former partner. I'd like to say that I wasn't aware of any of this going on at the time and for those who imagine Second Life is just a game, they're wrong. There are real feelings and a real sense of hurt when a relationship goes up in flames because it's the loss of a friend, even if you've not met them in real life. Marlene and I may be over as a Second Life couple but I've just read this and wanted to send her my love and best wishes for the future. Get well again M and thanks for the fun times. I've sent you a message and a friend request in world. Hope you'll read it and maybe even add me back as a friend again. xx Lizzie

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