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Friday 5 August 2011

Chatlogs

I use chatlogs all the time. Daily. If you don't know, they record your conversations with other avatars. Now, in the main my purpose for them is that I know that the name of a person (a sim owner usually) is mentioned, and often I want to contact them about something I wish to blog, so I know I can shut down the text box while in world, and the IM is saved on my computer. In that sense, it's a practical tool.

But there are other practical tools involved too. They're the idiots who send random IMs when I'm researching, for example, a sex sim, and their lack of manners and personality do a lot to underline the notion that the internet is the last refuge of the socially dysfunctional, that the likes of SL exists to create a virtual reality for the emotionally unstable, possibly psychopathic and without a job, boy/girlfriend or prospects of integrating into society as a useful human being.

Example 1: 'Hi Emma. Wanna f***?' Well, I might, if we're forming some sort of SL relationship it's probably going to be an integral part of our virtual relationship. But experience tells me you're going to want exclusive rights to my inworld presence while I want to wander and explore. You'll stalk me each time I log in and then start making demands, usually sexual, while you perform RL acts of self-abuse over a cartoon figure on a screen. 'Hi, Avatar. Wanna f*** off?' is my standard reply here. Really, guys! There's little wonder why you're sitting at a computer screen, alone, ready to masturbate at the drop of a pixellated knicker. You've no mates, no prospects, no life. You wouldn't talk to a woman like that in real life (well, you probably might, which explains why you're w***king on your own) and would fully deserve a punch in the mouth if you did. It doesn't work in real life, so why assume it will in SL? Go. Away.

Example 2: 'Hi'. That's it! An elongated period of silence follows. 'Er...hi!' Then....'how are you?' Please!!!!!!! Be imaginative, be sparkling, have a personality. They've said 'hi' and now expect me to do all the conversational legwork. No, sorry guys, but I need a bit more to work on. I've previously discussed this with the now departed (from SSL) Jimmy Humbridge, who said the male equivalent is a female who tells you 'I live with my cats', and always swore that whenever he heard those words it was time to log off or move to another sim as quickly as possible. If there's silence from someone else, and their sparkling, witty repartee can't go further than 'hi' and 'how are you', then it's time to move on, swiftly. Remaining just means the hardest, most tedious hour you've put in on SL otherwise.

The chatlogs save it all. The terminally dull, the sexually predatory, the cat owners (I guess). If you're going to have a virtual reality, at least invent a personality to go with it. I've kind of had enough of this, actually. The nature of the blogs means that I do visit places where many morons reside, just to have someone provide their cartoon fantasies for all of the sex they've no chance of ever getting in real life (And they're not quite smart enough to work out why). I used to try and be polite, but now I just tell them they're morons, idiots, assholes. I might even prepare a notecard to pass to them in future. I'm just soooooo hacked off with these people right now.

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